Page 14 - CL winter 2023 for web

relationships

Let’s talk about love and sex

Support for intimate relationships is often lacking or taboo, and There are 10 cards for each of the
training for workers is scant. Claire Bates looks at why this is the five sections: sex-positive
relationships and sex education;
case and how materials to address this were co-produced sexuality and relationships within
the law; diverse sexuality and
gender expression; online activity
for sex or relationships; and
supporting relationships.
alentine’s Day is on Cards are based on the authors’
the horizon – but experience in social care as
how relevant is it practitioners and trainers, and
seen to be to reflect concerns raised by staff.
people with Shoo the Taboo took more than
learning a year to develop and was launched
Vdisabilities? in April 2022.
There are many reasons why
relationship support is overlooked. Outraged responses
There are misconceptions around Professionals and people with
sexual desire, romantic interest, learning disabilities gave feedback
abilities to form relationships and on the cards. The most memorable
mental capacity, to name a few. aspects were the latter’s reaction to
A taboo persists and it is time it questions posed on the cards –
was – literally – put to bed. they were, rightly, outraged.
Article 8 of the Human Rights Act For example, one question was:
states people have the right to a “My manager says I have to keep
private life, including the right to the door open when a partner
consensual sexual expression in People may need In 2019, we started a project with visits – is that what I should do?”
private. Many people fail to achieve support when workforce development body Skills Another was: “My colleagues
this, because of issues such as considering an for Care. This included a review of have said the people we support
intimate relationship
restrictive practices, no awareness of learning materials for staff on don’t have any sexual feelings, so
their rights and a lack of education sexuality and intimate relationships. there is no need to think about it.
for both them and support staff. Surprisingly few training Should I go along with them?”
We are combating these resources for staff existed. Focus Responses from people with
inequalities though Supported groups with 120 social care staff learning disabilities included
Loving, a national network highlighted how many found it comments such as “it’s not right”
founded in 2017 and hosted by difficult to discuss these sensitive and “they shouldn’t say or do that”.
social care charity Choice Support. topics. They said it was hard to One support worker said: “I used
Through this, people share best know what to say, how to say it and to get really worried I wasn’t allowed
practice, develop guidance and what you could or could not say. to say this or to talk about it but I
champion sex-positive, active Our review did not identify any now feel much more confident.”
relationship and sexuality support. resource that gave practical advice While it was upsetting to share
There are more than 1,500 members, such as how to start conversations, how some staff perceive people’s
including social care staff, self- examples of words to use and sexuality, it was rewarding that
advocates, social workers, nurses, where to find more information. those involved in the Supported
educators and family members. In response, several Supported Loving network knew this was
Supported Loving campaigns for Loving members developed Shoo wrong and should be challenged.
changes to reduce this taboo in the Taboo. The aim this is to We plan to use Shoo the Taboo
care, such as including sexuality reduce taboos around sex and sales proceeds to host an event
support in inspections by relationships and help care and where people with learning
social care regulator the Care support staff feel more confident in disabilities and professionals can
Quality Commission. responding to sexual expression. learn and have fun – and explore Seán Kelly/www.seankellyphotos.com
We also want mandatory training The pack includes 50 A5 cards how to shoo this taboo for good. n
on this issue for staff and access to that inform and encourage and
relationship and sexuality education further exploration. These can be Claire Bates is Supported Loving
for all adults who use social care. used with individuals and groups. Leader at Choice Support

14 Community Living winter 2023 vol 36 no 2