Page 21 - Community Living Magazine 34-1

lockdown life
Closer while distanced

When lockdown came, a group of people strengthened their
friendships through a cinema club, online discos, a pen pal
scheme and art displays, says Amanda Topps

en years ago, I established a group People were saying, “It really hurts me
called Friends and Relationships Out not to see my friends” and “It feels like I
Tand About (FAR OUT), a group of am in prison”. On the video group calls, it
people with and without learning was hard not to visibly acknowledge a
disabilities who have a passion for decline in wellbeing alongside people Positive painted pebbles by Ruth Dobson and
community connecting in north Lancashire. telling me their mental health issues were Lorraine Thompson
Our aim is to provide sustainable becoming exacerbated.
co-produced events in the community for It deeply upset me, so I actively We discovered, as Shaun Webster says
adults with learning disabilities where promoted the Action for Happiness in Saba Salman’s anthology Made Possible
they can meet and make friends. These monthly calendars (daily actions helping (pages 16-17): “Lots of people with
are established through “champions”, people to be kinder to others and learning disabilities have hidden skills.” We
using strength-based approaches to themselves) and regularly posted ideas of also rediscovered the joy and excitement
create a wide range of activities including things to do on our Facebook page, of expecting something in the post.
the Really Enjoyable Dining Society (eating including a range of online activities. Through the weeks of isolation, I have
out), an open mic night, a sensory story felt really supported and loved by my pen
group and multi-sports sessions, among Pen pals and postcards pal, who has written week in week out
various other opportunities. Sarah McDermott – a friends and and sent me photographs of friends from
The people I have the privilege of relationships champion who had started our group to cheer me up. I have
working alongside never cease to amaze writing to friends – and I discussed how we unexpectedly gained a new friend. The
me with their ideas, kindness and could help people not connected online. connection we have grown is significant.
generosity, using their skills, resources We decided to start a pen pal scheme. What is even more significant is that a
and time for others. We are not a charity, wonderful, kind person who happens to
nor do we have a budget. We work on have a learning disability has helped me
friendship and people power alone. through the toughest days. Many people
When lockdown started, we had to would not expect this. As Sarah Gordy
change what we do and rethink ways of says, also in Made Possible: “It’s time to
keeping connected. Regular online groups see people with a learning disability for all
were set up, including our legendary they are and all they can be.”
cinema club and a new Big Quiz night; we Being involved in the FAR OUT group
continued our bereavement support has supported people’s relationships,
group. We threw birthday parties, and this helped improve their self-care and
led to us to discovering how to host enabled others to “take their mind off
Zoom discos. everything”. Friends from the group have
Through moving activities online, the said that writing to others “kept them
group has grown not only in numbers but going” during lockdown. New friends have
also in friendship, care and love as we been made and communication skills
discovered more about people’s gifts, Artwork by Katie Hiscox gained demonstrating the massive
skills and knowledge. life-changing potential of a group of
As we found out more about each Keeping Connected was born and we people whom many in society would
other, peer support took on a life of advertised it as a way of linking people undermine, write off or, as per recent
its own, firm friendships were made, together by writing or phoning each other. government pandemic policy, ignore.
and people looked out for each In the space of one month, we had more There has been a burgeoning of
other more. than 60 pairs of people connecting from kindness and the use of gifts and skills in
As James Hughes, team leader at React not only Lancashire but also as far as Kent, an unprecedented way during lockdown.
Self Advocacy in Lancashire, says: “People Cumbria, Yorkshire and Birmingham, with The friends in the group have created
are appreciating each other more during individuals, friends and social workers ways of keeping connected which have
lockdown.” He reflects that loneliness was enquiring about a pen or phone pal. delighted and surprised me.
common and people were unable to see People started phoning or writing and I am a better person and have grown
their families. sending postcards, letters and cards, through knowing this group. I have also
Lockdown has been a roller-coaster of a sometimes including wonderful learnt more about building community and
photographs or beautiful examples of
friendships through their setting amazing
journey with highs and lows for most
Amanda Topps people. We started to identify a trend in their art and craft. This included examples, especially during lockdown. n
● Action for Happiness monthly calendars:
handmade cards, friendship bracelets and
declining mental wellbeing among group
www.actionforhappiness.org/calendars
members a month or so into the pandemic.
encouraging messages using pebble art.
www.cl-initiatives.co.uk Community Living Vol 34 No 1 | Autumn 2020 21