Page 27 - Community Living Magazine 33-4

living a life

they need to do this. Having a boyfriend
or girlfriend means having a special
relationship with one person, and it
helps individuals become more
independent. People with learning
disabilities do have partners. Some meet
each other regularly, but others meet only
at the day centre or when a voluntary
group organises an activity. Many of these
relationships are not taken seriously
by others.
However, there are also parents who
are supportive. One father said he and his
wife would like their son to get married
but his girlfriend’s parents do not want
this. One mother said they gave their son
a lot of support to be able to meet his
girlfriend. For example, since he cannot
tell the time, if he is going to be alone in
the house when it is time for him to meet
his girlfriend, his mother sets the alarm
for him. Out and about in Valletta, Malta: parents worry if their adult children go out without someone
who can take care of them
Using public transport
Being able to use the bus is very do not understand the value of different personal assistants so that they can go out
important because it allows people to notes and coins, or because they cannot more often and do what they would like
go to work, visit different places and check change. to do.
meet friends. One mother taught her daughter how Parents too need support so they do
Some people with learning disabilities to use a debit card so she does not have not wrap their adult children in cotton
use the bus on their own. However, many to check change. Another mother said her wool. Our research found that there are
do not, and can find it difficult to learn son likes coins because they are heavier parents who find ways of supporting their
this skill. There are parents who do not and he thinks he has a lot of money. One sons and daughters to do the things they
want their adult children to be on the bus person with learning disabilities said he like to do.
on their own because someone may treat preferred having his dad going with him to We believe that it is the right of people
them badly. the bank because he does not understand with learning disabilities to be as
One mother mentioned that her son everything. Others said their parents gave independent as possible. From this
forgets to get down at the bus stop that them enough money, but some said they research, we learnt many people would
he needs. Then he gets lost and finds it were not given enough. like to do more things on their own.
difficult to tell his parents where he is. It is clear that to become independent,
For this reason, he can go out in his Mobile phones people should be given support to learn
neighbourhood on his own but, if he Mobile phones are an important way to how to do things on their own, such as
wants to go further, one of his parents or keep in touch with family and friends. housework, managing money and using
his sister gives him a lift. Many people with learning disabilities use the bus. If they could do these, they
them, but some have a mobile phone only would not need to depend on their
Managing money so that they can contact family members families all the time. n
Being able to manage money allows when they go out with friends. ● For more about the research and to
people to buy things they want and In some cases, parents call them a lot download the full Inclusive Research
save for the future. Some people with when they are out – and people do not like Project About Overprotection in the Lives
learning disabilities use money on their this. One person said, when he is out with of Persons with Intellectual Disability in
own, but many need help because they his girlfriend, her mum keeps calling. Some Malta report and an easy-ready summary,
people phone their parents once when they visit https://tinyurl.com/ybaywgag
are out, just to let them know they are fine.
Isabel Bonello is an office support worker
Lessons from the research at the Commission for the Rights of
There are many things that can be done Persons with Disability. She delivers talks
to avoid overprotecting people with about self-advocacy and participates in
learning disabilities. inclusive research at the University of
First and foremost, people with learning Malta; Anne-Marie Callus is senior
disabilities should be treated with respect, lecturer at the Department of Disability
Christy Lawrance: Malta and they also need more support from Studies at the University of Malta. Among
other work, she teaches and carries out
research with people with learning
Meeting friends can help people become more
disabilities and is a support member of a
independent from their families, say Isabel
self-advocacy group
www.cl-initiatives.co.uk Bonello and Anne-Marie Callus Community Living Vol 33 No 4 | Summer 2020 27